As an American mom navigating the climate crisis, I balance grief and hope – A greener life, a greener world

The author of Parenting in a Climate Crisis on living with parental guilt and joy in the climate crisis. 

By Bridget Shirvell

Picture a New England cottage; chances are you’re imagining my home even if you don’t realise it—pink blossoming cherry tree in the yard, white fence, brown-shingled house with a lemonade porch. 

It’s nothing extraordinary, and yet it’s also everything. Home base. The only home my child remembers ever living in. She wants to know if it will always be here, forever a home to her, no matter where her life takes her. I hide the truth, saying I hope so. 

Hoping for the best

There are few guarantees in life, but this one is becoming more certain—our house, our town, will not survive the climate crisis. This is life as a parent, especially as an American mom living under a second Trump administration. I hope for the best, prepare for loss, and try to shield my kid from the personal worst, as long as possible. 

Before she was born, I knew the climate crisis would impact my child’s life. UNICEF’s Children’s Climate Risk Index (CCRI) shows how many children are currently exposed to climate and environmental hazards, shocks, and stresses. 

More than half of the world’s children live in high-risk countries. The US is presently considered a medium-high-risk country, as are France, the UK, Italy, and others. Someone asked me recently how I handle the mom guilt of having a young child at this point in time.

Navigating Guilt and Honesty

I feel guilt. Of course I do. How could I not? Guilt can be useful. It can push you to make good decisions for the planet and to work harder for climate crisis solutions, but besides that, it serves little purpose.

I have long been honest with my kid about the health of our planet. In age-appropriate terms, she can understand, sure, but I have not hidden things like the wildfires that engulfed Los Angeles or the floods that devastated parts of North Carolina from her. Yet, until recently, it still seemed like the impact of the climate crisis on her was still far away. A distant future. It was not something I had to grapple with day to day. How do I explain to her that the home she loves, which has survived in this town for some 130-odd years, will not survive the destruction those that came before her wrought? 

It is the thing I’ve hidden, but more and more, it feels like a mistake. It feels arrogant to think I can predict the future with any certainty. Still, more than that, I think we have to make what’s happening to our planet and, more importantly, how we feel about it personal. 

Anxiety to action

We’re drowning in climate anxiety. Between the doom scrolling and the hand-wringing, it’s easy to get lost in a sea of despair. And while acknowledging the emotional toll of the climate crisis is important, it’s not enough. It’s time to move beyond climate feelings and focus on tangible, effective action. This isn’t about ignoring the emotional weight of the situation; it’s about channeling that energy into something productive.

Environmental stewardship

We need to raise children who grow into adults who see it as their duty and responsibility to be environmental stewards, who will think of how their choices impact others, and who have the practical and mental skills to seek solutions. As parents and caregivers, we must cultivate children’s curiosity, build community, and nurture their activism. 

It is not my kid’s job to solve the climate crisis. It shouldn’t be mine either, and it can’t be. Not really. We know the climate crisis is an “us problem,” not a “me problem.” Still, that doesn’t mean that individuals can’t or shouldn’t do anything. 

Talking about the climate crisis

One of the most powerful things we can do is talk about it. Not in some big abstract way. In the little moments. In the everyday things we do, like when the other parents at the after-school care discuss dinner ideas, mentioning we had this amazing pasta dish the other night. It was plant-based, which we’re trying to eat more of because of climate change. 

Or when spring break plans come up, saying oh yeah, we’re driving to our destination this year to lessen our impact on the planet, and yes, even admitting to my kid the big things like our home may not survive for her to see her own grandkids (if she chooses to have them) play in the yard but that there are so many people including her and I fighting hard to save as much as we can of this planet.

Finding joy

I told the young woman who asked me about guilt that my focus these days is on creating joy for my child, myself, family, and friends and savoring it. Ultimately, parenting and living in the climate crisis are about values and how to best live those values in a world that sometimes makes it impossible. Still, I keep trying.

Bridget Shirvell is a freelance journalist and the author of Parenting in a Climate Crisis. A handbook that explores the challenges and opportunities of raising children in an era of climate change. Her work has been featured in various publications, including The New York Times, Grist, and Fast Company, where she combines personal insights with expert perspectives to inspire and inform readers. Bridget is passionate about raising awareness and sparking meaningful conversations around climate action and the future of the next generation. You can follow Bridget’s Substack here.

Parenting in a Climate Crisis can be purchased here.. It is also on general sale in the US and UK. In the UK, the paperback version will be released on March 13th, 2025.