When I was diagnosed with stage three skin cancer it felt like the ground had shifted beneath me

The thing about melanoma is that it is often presented as a straightforward condition – wear sunscreen, check your moles and avoid sunbeds. For most people, it is about being cautious and taking preventative steps. But for me, melanoma became something far more complicated and life-altering.

I have always tried to be mindful of my skin. I am fair-skinned with red hair and grew up in Jersey Shore, U.S., where I spent a lot of time outdoors playing sports and soaking up the sun. I would slather sunscreen on every inch of my body and, although I never used sun beds, I was no stranger to the occasional bad sunburn.

I remember being told that a person’s risk of melanoma doubles if they have had more than five sunburns. But like most people, I did not fully understand the impact until it affected me personally.

It is difficult to pinpoint exactly when things started to go wrong. I thought I was being careful with sun exposure, but it was not enough. I was diagnosed with ‘melanoma in situ’ (stage zero) at age 17, and the mole was removed. Melanoma in situ means the cancer cells haven’t spread to anywhere else in the body and your skin is classed as being ‘pre-cancerous’. It meant that although I did not technically have cancer, I had to start being more cautious.

I continued having regular skin checks, and for years, everything seemed fine. But in 2023, I was diagnosed with stage two melanoma. I had surgery to remove the melanoma and underwent a lymph node biopsy to see if the cancer had spread, which thankfully came back negative.

Finding a lump

I thought I was in the clear, but in August 2024 at the age of 26, I felt a lump near my armpit while getting ready to leave for a holiday. I didn’t think anything of it and presumed it was just an allergic reaction to my new deodorant, making a mental note to keep an eye on it. But after switching to a natural deodorant and being away for a week on holiday the lump continued to grow, so I immediately went to a doctor when I got home.

Because it was summer holidays, my usual doctor was away and the quickest person I could see was a breast oncologist at the hospital. I assumed it would be a quick appointment and that she would reassure me it was nothing serious.

But after feeling the lump, she performed an ultrasound and a biopsy on the spot. Some 10 minutes later, she called me back into the room and told me I had stage three melanoma, which was likely to have spread from the stage two melanoma that had been on my back.

The news was devastating. It felt like the ground had shifted beneath me. Most people diagnosed with advanced melanoma are much older, typically in their 60s or 70s, so being diagnosed at my age was a huge shock. Melanoma does not always look the way you think it does and my case proved that.

The emotional toll of this journey has been heavy. With my family so far away in America, my parents, despite their love and support, have struggled to fully grasp the seriousness of my condition. There is a common perception about melanoma and for many, including my parents, skin cancer does not carry the same weight as other forms of cancer. They want to believe everything will be fine, but I know the reality – it could come back again. It has been difficult to balance their hopeful mindset with the urgency of my situation.

Side effects

The physical toll has been just as overwhelming. After my diagnosis, I started a new treatment plan, including three rounds of immunotherapy before surgery. The side effects of the immunotherapy have been difficult to manage: skin rashes, stomach pain, nausea and vomiting. It’s a very fine line between the treatment behind helpful in fighting the cancer, but it’s also now attacking my body in different ways.

I’ve also had to make major life adjustments. As immunotherapy can affect fertility, I wanted to take action as soon as possible, so I spent my 27th birthday freezing my eggs. The process felt surreal –preserving the possibility of having children later in life while battling a disease that could take it all away.

One of the most challenging aspects of this experience has been navigating it on my own. As an American living in the UK, far from family, I have faced the practical and emotional challenges of going through this without the immediate support network I had back home.

Raising awareness

Now, I have turned to social media, specifically TikTok, to document my journey. I wasn’t on TikTok before, but during my treatment, I felt compelled to share my experience. It was a way for me to make sense of everything, and I thought if it could help me, it could help others too. Through TikTok, I have connected with people who are either undergoing similar treatments or have loved ones who are.

Some are just beginning their treatment, while others are further along, but it has been comforting to know that I am not alone in this. TikTok has provided me with a sense of community, and I have learned so much from others going through similar experiences.

I have also learned a great deal about melanoma. When I first heard the term ‘skin cancer’, I thought I understood the basics: check your moles, wear sunscreen, avoid excessive sun exposure. But melanoma is far more complex. Genetics play a significant role and I had no idea that every bad sunburn I had as a child could increase my risk of developing melanoma later in life. Skin is our largest organ, and now I see how essential it is to protect it just as we protect our lungs or liver.

My life has changed dramatically since my diagnosis. Treatment has become a job in itself. Although I’m now cancer-free, advanced melanoma has a high chance of coming back. Between the regular blood tests, scans and specialist visits, I am constantly on alert. Melanoma also has a high risk of spreading to the brain, so my doctors closely monitor my head with CT and PET scans. Even though the scans have been all clear so far, the constant worrying is exhausting.

Changing my lifestyle

Through all of this, I have learned the importance of routine. Before my diagnosis, I was always busy. But when everything changed, I realised how crucial it was to maintain normality in my life. I kept up with work even when I was not feeling well, and I made exercise a priority, even if it was just light stretching or walking. Staying active helps me keep my mind focused and my body as strong as possible under the circumstances.

Cancer came into my life unexpectedly, but it has completely shifted my perspective. I think I have always been quite a negative person and when I was diagnosed, I knew I had to be mindful not to spiral into negativity. Therapy has helped me reframe my mindset, teaching me how to stay positive even in the most difficult moments.

On a deeper level, cancer has made me reevaluate everything from how I live to what I eat and what truly matters to me. I have learned to find joy in the little things and things I once took for granted now feel like precious gifts.

This experience has also taught me that while I can control certain things, like eating well and avoiding processed foods, much of this disease is out of my hands. Learning to accept that has been just as important as fighting it.

As for the future, my current treatment plan has been paused due to side effects, and my doctors and I are exploring other options, including targeted therapy where I would take pills three times a day to target specific mutations of melanoma. It is all uncertain, and for someone who thrives on routine, that uncertainty has been the hardest part.

What I have learned, though, is the importance of trusting my body. I am more in tune with my health now than ever before. I know when something does not feel right, and I have learned not to be afraid to speak up or push for answers. If I had not trusted my instincts early on, I might not be in the position to fight this.

Cancer has changed me in ways I never expected. It has shown me how resilient I am and taught me that survival isn’t just about medical treatment. It’s about mindset, maintaining routine and understanding your body better than anyone else. In honour of Melanoma Awareness Month (May), I’m taking on Tough Mudder challenge to raise awareness and show that despite everything, I’m still pushing forward.

Advanced melanoma has a high risk of recurrence, so I have months of preventative treatment still to go – staying cancer-free will be a lifelong journey for me.

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